Returning to My Home

I guess I really am getting older... as I approach having three quarters of a century under my belt, I realize I don't have to justify why Recreational Vehicle living was just 'not my thing.' I loved living aboard the sailboat and I naturally thought that a land yacht could be a lovely extrapolation of that joy without the hassle of dicey weather.

Well, 'landing' in Lake City, FL, was wet, wild and wretched. Aside from the emotional stuff that was going on with a son who continues to resist growing up and getting a job, even a part-time one, it was clear that my RV life could not continue with Wayne. He has his way of living and I have mine and while we will remain casual friends, the 420 sq. feet in his home (not ours, not truly shared) made it challenging.

Square dancing with the Dixie Dancers in Lake City, FL
was a high point in the square dancing journey for me;
and I reconnected with Barbara Rosenthal, and her husband.

I loved the adventure of traveling and having a companion to view the world with was pleasurable. I still want to travel and I still want to share it with a friend and so in time I will journey out again.

But for now I am back in Sequim, WA, which is actually warmer than Florida (today) and warmer than much of the southern U.S. due to a nasty storm that developed into a Nor'easter for the northeast states. I am back on my routine of painting at least two days a week (sorely missed in the space-limiting RV), and will rejoin the Y next week to shore up my activity plan.

It's very much OK that I discovered in two months something which could have made life painful for both of us had we continued. Of course I wish Wayne all the best in the new year, finding all the square dances that give him such joy and maybe more peacefulness in his grieving process as I seek peace about my son. I am grateful for all Wayne's help with getting my personal effects into storage.

As this new year progresses and my personal things finally find their way to Washington, I am planning to clarify what brings me peace and joy and I hope the same for all my readers.

Wayne and I at the St. Augustine Pier, FL, where he bought
a plank to be placed on the pier honoring his late wife.

Weather woes in Florida, too!

While I have been here in Florida closing out the cottage I lived in for five years, it has been grey and misty more often than not, but only recently have the clouds given up that moisture and actually produced rain. It's been rainy, finally, for three days now. And Florida really needs it. Many of the aquifer lakes are nearly dry and the air has been heavy with smoke from woodland fires. The quirky weather that has given Colombia the worst rainy season in decades has deprived Florida of the much-needed hurricanes that flood the peninsula's watershed. One of my friends said, "We haven't had a really decent hurricane season, meaning plenty of rain and minimal damage, in about five years."

After three days of rain, the grass is greener and the buds on the trees
have started to pop. The Azalea Festival is next week, I think, and I am
seeing plenty of those riotous colors beginning to emerge.

I am glad for my neighbors and their gardens that they got some natural assistance, but please will someone tell me why on the very day, (even the very hour!) that I was loading up a van with the few things left from the thieving friends who emptied most of my furniture from the house last year, it began to absolutely pour?  Maybe the house was telling me it was going to miss me... I did put a lot of work into it and that aspect of the move was hard.

But Colombia is where I am putting most of my energy, and I have plans to head back there very soon. But the Great Intender Tour is also starting with the Law of Attraction so I want to come back to attend one of the groups in either Florida or Alabama and that's in about two months. So it appears that this year is one with more traveling and connecting with like-minded souls. It should be an interesting one.

Around the Lake

This is little Gwen Lake. I have no idea why or how it got
that name, unless an early settler named it after his wife or
daughter or maybe his mother. Who knows?

In order to keep up my commitment-to-exercise plan, I took a little walk around one of the many lakes that are the reason for this location in Florida to be called "Lake City." This one is very close to my home, but I am not blessed with a view. Maybe that's better because it forces me to walk to see it. Anyhow, along the way I noticed that the azaleas are starting to bust out, which means I may miss the Azalea Festival.

The azaleas are starting show their lovely colors already.

And as I was walking, this cat came up to greet me. That in itself is sort of amazing, since most cats tend to be somewhat standoffish. But then look what happened (See photos). This cat dropped right down in the middle of the road, and although this is not a very busy street, nevertheless, I would take this as somewhat risky behavior. While flipping over from side to side, obviously hoping for some tummy scratching, it finally simply just settled down and watched the approaching car without even flinching.

No, this is NOT a dead cat in the
middle of the road. This is a cat in the
 middle of the road with a death wish,
or possibly just showing off
how brave it is.

I watched, too, and in the end it was the car and driver who veered off to avoid the cat. The cat never moved! I saw a smile on the driver's face, and thus concluded that he was accustomed to dealing with this fearless feline as I saw him turning into a nearby driveway. But what about those drivers who are not cat-conscious?

Maybe this is the clue that we are coming to the End of Times - when dogs acts more like cats and cats do more dog-like things, when the weather is upside-down with snow falling in places it normally doesn't and isn't coming down in places where it usually does. We are rushing toward the December 21 deadline for Something To Happen, but I am unsure that there is anyone who really has a clue.

The cat just stayed in the road watching the car approach.
It was the car that took evasive action, not the cat.

Suddenly it is nearing the end of January and, according to one of the astrological blogs I follow, the next seven days are critical for World Peace. The writer asks for us to pray until February 4 and hope/intend that no rogue nation does something foolish to upset the delicate balance in place at present.

I see no harm in promoting seven days of conscious prayer and/or intending the world's people can put aside their prejudices and imagine being peaceful. 

The biggest obstacle I have is that most people cannot stop arguing for a day, never mind seven of them, and that seems like an important mental and emotional shift when it comes to political beliefs - and those appear to be the elements of conflict both locally and globally. At any rate, I am willing to suspend my disbelief in this matter for seven days.

Will you join me in this intention? "Intending that everyone, everywhere is having a moment of imagining a world at peace and this imagining is growing every day until peace is the only acceptable solution, for the highest and best good of all concerned, so be it and so it is.... Whooooooo!"

First, Last and Best

Dee was quick to remind me when she
dug out this photo that the doll in my
hands was hers... laughing, of course!
(I'm on the left and she's always right!)

Last weekend I spent two days and nights with my First Best Friend, Deanna (now known as Dee), and it was a wonderful reunion! We talked and talked and talked and laughed and laughed. It was a delight after nearly XX years (a lot of them!) to find out we STILL like the same things, read the same kinds of books, laugh at the same kinds of jokes.

She was all ready for me, sharing the high school yearbook, photos of the last class reunions, commentary about the people there and missing, summarizing all the years that had passed since I'd been there or even in the vicinity, had a couple of town history books to help me get more caught up, lots and lots of photos of family and stories to go along and then there were the 'inside jokes' we still shared... and yes, Dee, I did give up my role as the Lone Ranger once in awhile so you could be him and I could be Tonto!!! But probably not enough and for that I do apologize, belatedly.

Sadly too many of our classmates have died, some younger than others. And it was a reminder to me that it is time to prepare my Last Will and Testament because I don't want my children to have to sort out things and have to pay to do it. And it is only with an old friend that you can discuss these sorts of subjects without resistance and with plenty of humor.

The Port Orange lighthouse is now a
national historic landmark, but two little
old ladies did not climb to the top to see the view.

Reminders of the little ways we had affected each other's lives as children (because we have known each other since we were five years old) were discussed and evaluated along with all the changes the world has gone through since "the good old days."

Dee had a passel of kids and now has loads of grandchildren and even a couple of Great grands... I showed her past photos of my family and recent shots of everyone and we shared grandmotherly stories, something I never imagined could be so much fun to do with someone who has known you for-evah!

I'm still on the left and Dee is STILL
right... in our late 40's?

Once, while I was living in St. Augustine and Dee and Kevin were headed south, they stopped by and we had a brief catch-up, but a lot got missed in that short pass-by. Here's a mid-life shot of the two of us.

As we sat on a beach bench seat, on the coast north of the Kennedy Space Center, we found out that we had been looking for each other off and on between the birthing and raising of children and jobs and husbands and finally it was the death of her beloved Kevin that got us together again when I stumbled on his obituary in a New Hampshire paper.

We are still friends after all these years and I am so glad we
reconnected! More fun to come!

"But I had been looking for you long before that happened," Dee said, wanting me to know that she was still my 'bestest friend' and she is... because who else would keep searching for someone who had basically fallen off the face of the earth relative to their life? The same one who saved me from a gang of girls who decided to kidnap me and tie me up in the woods and then walk away, leaving me unable to move or get loose as the sun set on a wintry afternoon. Yes, this really happened as I was leaving a Girl Scout meeting to walk home and it was Dee who found me, untied me and went home with me.

In so many ways, she is not only my First Best Friend but she is certainly my Last Best Friend, too. And we don't get to have too many of those, do we?

A Foggy Start to 2012

My driveway in Florida is enshrouded in mist today.

Colorado's snow is behind me and I awakened to moderate temperatures and fog all around my little cottage here in Florida. I did not 'celebrate' the passing of 2011 except to have a nice home cooked meal with my son and watch a movie until about 11:30 p.m. The head cold that accompanied me to the U.S. and further west has finally left and I feel blessed to be bug-free finally! That was two weeks of nose-blowing and coughing intermittently, depending on how tired I was, and when I stepped outside this morning, I could finally breath in the misty air without any disruption. Yea!

I intend for all my readers, wherever in the world you may be, that your 2012 is a healthy one. If you are dealing with MM, that your medical team is divinely guided for your highest and best health, and for all the caregivers out there, that your health and hope is supported for your tasks. I am so grateful for all the people I have encountered this year, through this blog, across the Internet, and my travels and my intention is for all of you to have many good things in your life in 2012 - health is always first, happiness can be found in many ways, and prosperity may be acquired or gifted.

What was your first look at 2012? Send me a link! and Happy New Year to you all!!

Thanks for the Life of Dr. Alphonso Levy

Dr. Alphonso Levy, director of the St. James Episcopal
Church choir, put up with my antics as an alto in the
group for the years I was with them. I shall miss him.

It is hard to believe it when a community member who has made such a huge impression on so many lives passes away. Very early this morning 83 years of music were silenced with the death of Dr. Alphonso Levy in Lake City, Florida. I say 83 years because it must have been music to his mother's ears when he cried out, "I am here!"

This was a man of physically small stature, but he was huge in his impression through his musical talent.  Three years ago on his birthday the Lake City Community College personnel and members of both Lake City and Columbia County leaders celebrated his accomplishments with a Dr. Alphonso Levy Day.

He was 'on stage' for most of his life and as members of his choir at St. James Episcopal Church, we were often regaled during rehearsals with tales of his early peccadillos, machinations, and general playfulness with family, relatives, friends and associates. And he had many, many friends... I was blessed to meet him and join that special group, if only for a couple of years.

Until he was too ill to play publicly anymore, Dr. Levy often could be found performing on the weekends in restaurants around town, or at various events. When I moved to Lake City in 2005, I was given a birthday dinner at Tucker's Restaurant (sadly now closed) where Dr. Levy and Tony Buzzella also known as "Alphonso and Buzz" were at that time offering up their unique weekend repertoire of musical entertainment. On the website link you can hear some of the music they made together. I especially like listening to Alphonso's piano rendition of  "Amazing Grace" with Tony on the sax. What a team! Singing, kibitzing, working the crowd, the two of them were a delight and I was happily entertained to have them serenade me on my special day. I couldn't have known then how both of them would intertwine their musical energies into my life then, but now I have these fine memories.

I went to St. James Episcopal Church that weekend and - surprise! - there he was again, leading the choir in "Dona Nobis Pacem," by Mozart. (The link to this group singing is not our choir, but we were about the same size.) A peaceful man by his nature, Levy managed to keep his head through the struggles of church leaders and stay focused on the music, leading the choir to an esteemed position in the local diocese for our excellence in performance - all the credit goes to Dr. Levy who had a high standard we worked to maintain. (NOTE: I may have had a personal family link to this church as well since I was married to a relative whose mother's family included the name Snowden.)

As a choir we worked hard to produce the musical sound that Dr. Levy wanted from us on any given Sunday. He would sometimes come to rehearsal with a composition he had been working on (He loved writing music as much as playing it!) only to decide on Sunday's pre-church rehearsal that he wanted to make a few changes. But it was never all hard work and we enjoyed much laughter and camaraderie in those years with him. One of his favorites was "Deep River," chosen for Black History Month. I grew to love it as well and invite you to listen to this version by the Indiana Wesleyan University Chorale (2005-2006) in his memory.

Our church group was never as large as the Chorale, but he swelled the ranks of the singers when he did several productions of Handel's "Messiah" and pulled together church choirs from around Lake City to do annual fund raisers for a local food bank. My son remembers singing in our choir when he was living in Lake City and recalled that "Dr. Levy had a great appreciation for talent and how to incorporate or use that person to get the best out of them." As a participant in the annual "Messiah" one year, he also recalled how Dr. Levy would simply stand silently in front of the group waiting for everyone to stop talking and pay attention to the man with the little white stick, waiting to direct them. Tony Buzzella and other musician friends, like Harry Woest, joined us for these "Messiah" performances in the orchestra, so there was always this musical undercurrent between them that they all played off of - still working the crowd!

There are lots and lots of people who have known Dr. Levy far longer than I have, and have closer ties to him. But he will always be someone I remember with great fondness and appreciation for the lessons learned and the special friendship we shared, albeit brief. Well done, faithful servant, may the heavenly choir welcome you.

The Case for Twitter

I don't actually know how many people are following (as in following on Twitter) the murder trial of the State of Florida v. Casey Marie Anthony in Orlando, Florida, but Twitter has allowed me to keep up via computer with what is happening in this sad story of a young toddler who went missing in June of 2008 and the subsequent trial that seems to have caught the attention of people all over the world.

Caylee Marie Anthony in a photo from her mother's cell
phone acquired from public records. 

My interest was piqued immediately on July 17, 2008, because I was living just three hours away. The news picked up the story that little Caylee Marie Anthony was last seen on June 16, 2008 in the company of her mother, Casey Marie Anthony in Orlando, Florida. For the following 31 days, "Tot Mom" (a label given to her by famed US TV host Nancy Grace) Casey had been shopping, partying, spending time with a new boyfriend, cooking for his roommates and renting movies. On July 16, 2008, Casey's mother, Cindy, found her at the boyfriend's apartment but was told that Caylee was with a nanny.

Later that night, back at her parent's home, Casey told a convoluted story about the nanny kidnapping Caylee and how she, Casey, had been spending the last month trying to find her. It wasn't long before the police were (finally!) involved, but it would be another six months before little Caylee's remains were found, in a palmetto swamp, only a short distance away from the family residence.

If you want to read all the details and timeline, the Orlando Sentinel has up-to-the-minute coverage also of this riveting saga of the selfish act of a young, attractive, single mother and her less-than-honest relatives who seem to be enabling her at every step of her life.

The point of bringing this up is that the social media, Twitter, has changed forever the way people communicate about everything. And Photobucket, where a relative of mine is working, has joined forces to make it easier to attach photos into 'tweets' (messages) making instant messaging with photos the easiest method possible for sharing news, and lots more. Just yesterday over 500,000 people were following the case online, according to the Orlando Sentinel's twitter writer. (I think that is what she is called, or maybe she's the 'tweeter.' I am only just learning about this.)

In those forward-thinking courthouses where people can use computers or Ipads or phones to tweet, instant information is passed on those who are waiting for the details. I read tweets from an Australian, a Canadian, several British subjects, and someone in Japan. Fascinating. And we all wanted to know how the prosecution team was faring against the defense presenting their witnesses.

I can tweet in real time between my rammed earth home in Colombia to an individual in a bamboo garden in Japan or share our conversation with someone in the outback of Australia (imagine kangaroos jumping across the road, now) providing the satellites are in place. Impressive.

How will this affect the justice system in the U.S.? The demand for instant access has been satisfied in one modern court room in Orange County, Florida and the media and the public will demand it in courts across the nation in the future. The judge who determines it will or will not be allowed in his or her courtroom will face a bright light of discovery and a need for better management of sidebars (Orange Country uses white noise to blank out bench conversations between attorneys and the judge.) and a tolerance for commentary that might go worldwide in seconds.

Even the attorneys - from both sides - were using Twitter to follow public opinion about the case, to get case law information from staff, and to even get tips from the followers about questions that might be asked of upcoming witnesses. (It didn't seem to improve the performance of defense attorney Jose Baez however.) No longer do you have to go to the Coliseum in Rome to watch the lions devour the Christians. You can join a Twitter group and follow the debacle from the office, your home, or even on your vacation.

Thoughts on Florida

Feeding the manatees at Silver Springs, FL

February in Florida can be quite lovely, with the temperatures hovering between 68 and 78 degrees during the day and much cooler at night. The humidity is considerably less as well, making trips to various educational and entertainment sites more enjoyable.

A few years ago I went with my buddy T and his son's family (2 boy grands) to the Silver Springs manatee shelter. These animals are mammals, are sort of like hippos in skin texture and very sweet, endangered critters. It is a delight to watch them come up for carrots and lettuce and they stay in the springs area because they need fresh water to drink.

These manatees look like they are having an amorous
exchange, or are they exchanging carrots?

If you want to learn more about manatees, this is the place to go for the details. But when I was looking for pictures of the things I had in my house a few years ago, I found these and found the memories of this little trip very refreshing.

The reason I was looking for pictures is that when I returned to my house a few weeks ago, I came home to betrayal by my so-called friend Betty Johns and her husband, Albert, who took away things that clearly did not belong to them along with their skipping on the rent - a rather large sum, I might add. If you are reading this, Betty, I hope you still have enough conscience to be embarrassed to have taken so much from me when I was so willing to help you out in your time of need.

Your whole family took advantage of my generosity and there will be Hell to pay for doing that. Not by me, because I am turning it all over to a Higher Authority. The consequence of stealing is serious as you will discover.

The greatest pain was not the loss of stuff that I'd accumulated, but the betrayal by someone who even two weeks before claimed to be my best friend, her sneaking out from a debt with no compunction about leaving my car unlocked and available to vandals and all the filth left behind by people who have no sense of values and no pride. I am glad they are out of my life, but I am grieving all the same.

Birds are heading north!

These two Macaws, a red and a blue, live in the Parque
Gallinera in San Gil, Santander, Colombia.

Not these brightly colored ones, of course!

I have returned to Florida during the annual migration of a variety of birds and yesterday I had the joy of watching a huge flock of robins pecking through the leaves in my front yard. Today I can hear the sounds of ducks, swans, geese and others calling and circling near the lakes in Lake City as they head north. So those of you who are suffering in snow and cold weather, take heart! The birds ARE heading north and spring will come.

AMTRAK rocks... mostly

It was my first train ride in a long, long time. And for the most part, it was not a disappointment. I got on in Jacksonville at a very early hour, thanks to my friend Tobe who was either kind enough or foolish enough to get up at 4:30 a.m. and come and pick me up... I think he was kind.

The Silver Service starts its run in New York City and ends up in Miami, Florida some 15 hours later, if I figured the time correctly. It takes about 5 hours to ride from Jacksonville to Tampa and slightly longer if you choose the Atlantic coast route to get to Miami.

Dr's Lake is south of Jacksonville and it was cool to see
the places I saw when driving up and down I-95
from the relaxed comfort of the train.

This photo is near where I once sailed on my boat, and I've driven I-95 (the bridge you see) many times.

The only caveat I have about the train is that it is not  as clean as it could be, should be! And especially the windows because the whole point is being able to SEE out of them! Bring your own food and only buy drinks since the cost of the food is outrageous and it's not very good.

Several of the train stations where we stopped were very clean and bright and others were so raggedety as to be offensive. The service providers were helpful and professional and I found most of them pretty agreeable as well.

Orlando Station for AMTRAK has a Spanish motif.

So, I will do the train again and perhaps the next time I will even try a longer trip.

Singing Again

The Barichara Chorus was rehearsing in this shot.

I was part of the choir at St. James Episcopal Church today and it was quite amusing to see the reactions of 'the regulars' as they came past the choir for their communion. More than a few did a double-take seeing me in the Alto section and it was  good to be singing again.

My connections in Barichara, the village in Colombia, report that rehearsals are continuing and I was sent some words for one of the songs I have to be ready to sing in a couple of weeks.

This week I will be re-packing my suitcases and checking to make sure I have all the promised items I was asked to bring back or that I will need in my little casa.

The church choir director, Dr Alfonso Levy, was not directing us this morning because he was put into hospital for various reasons. So he did not know that I was there for rehearsal on Tuesday or in church today. I decided to go and visit him this afternoon and got there just as his brother and sister-in-law were leaving. He was so overwhelmed that I was there that he got us both crying and I said I was going to have to leave if I was upsetting him. He replied, "Girl, I don't want to be anything but upset right now I am that glad to see you."

We talked about my Colombia 'choir' and how the director there noticed that I knew about correct breathing and immediately Dr. Levy relaxed and said, "You just have to watch for the commas," and I smiled and said I didn't know how to say that in Spanish yet, but I remembered his instruction about that and would learn the words so I can share his tip with the group there.

Before I left Dr. Levy for the day, I asked him if he wanted me to do Reiki on him again (as I had done once before with a critical health issue for him) and he said I should proceed "as usual,' which made us both laugh. So I have been doing Reiki on him at a distance and intending that these current health issues resolve themselves so that he can be up and around again.

The other half of the Barichara choral group at rehearsal.

It will be hard to leave here but I am still excited about my new adventures and plans and the only things I really am waiting on are my papers for the 'pensioner visa' which are being processed from all I can gather.

At any rate it was certainly pleasant to be singing again as there is something so very satisfying to be in a group making music together, and I know how hard it is for Dr. Levy to be lying in a bed and not doing that which he loves... Get well soon, my  friend.

On my own again

Looking back over the past 15 months I realize I have traveled over (approximately) 45,000 miles (!!) by air, boat and car with Jey-hu - the most I have ever traveled with anyone. He said the same was true for him and we both agreed it has been "a most interesting adventure." No regrets.

We part as friends, in spite of the volatile circumstances that drove a wedge between us. And today I begin a new journey, heading toward Florida on my own from Texas - one of the flattest states in the U.S. I am certain - and then I will re-pack for my return to Colombia.

Cartegena, Colombia as seen from the tour boat "Alcatraz."

My journey has taken me back and forth across the U.S., seeing wonderful places and eating great food as well as giving me a new view of South America and its people. These past few months have been rich in color as well as texture, providing me with plenty of photos for my new phase of working on my art.

When I look only at my 'label list' on this blog, I realize that from A-Z I have traveled a rich road even though not always spending much money to do so. I have become more flexible about sleeping arrangements, more tolerant of delays, more understanding of the people who provide services and more willing to try something new. These almost 450 days have been a way for me to grow in ways I could never have predicted ahead of time. So truly there are no regrets... but it will seem strange to be on my own again.

Seattle to Bogota

The day started REALLY early... like 3 a.m.! A friend, an amazing friend, picked me and my travel buddy, Jeyhu, up at my apartment and drove us to the airport. Then it was kind of a blur until we got on the plane and the engines revved up. I want to tell you a story about this, but perhaps it can wait because I just want you to see some amazing pictures and then I can go off to bed. Because it is now another day here in Colombia and sleeping on the airplane just didn't cut it.

Mt. Rainier at sunrise. This is not very sharp due to the
pitted windows. And it appeared larger to my eyes.

Atlanta was its usual hub of frenetic and orderly chaos and there were no delays until we got on the plane and were told we had to wait since the customer who had bags in the hold didn't show up for the flight. "It's a safety issue," said the captain, and it caused us a 25 minute delay, but he put the pedal to the metal and we got to Colombia right on time!

This is one of my favorite things to do when flying -
to track our progress over the ground. This route took us
over Cuba, but it was too dark by that time to see out.

Our route took us from Atlanta down I-75 essentially to Miami and the sky was so clear you could make out the highways from 39,000 feet! It was well after 6 p.m. when we got over the tip of Florida, so this was the last good shot of the day. I don't know what my internet access will be in Barichara this time, so don't give up if a few days go by. G'nite all.

We are over Miami, Florida, flying at over 500 mph at 39,000 feet. I was impressed that my little Sony
digital travel camera could get this one. The sun was already setting at 7 p.m.

Heading for a home

There is a lot of talk these days about "home" and news of foreclosures and people not having homes is distressing, but a call from a very dear friend brought the word "home" into a different perspective of stress. At the other end of a teary phone call was someone I met over a decade ago in Florida, someone who has sheltered me in her home, and who has listened to my tears of rage or anguish or grief just as I was listening to hers today.

"He needs to be supervised, 24 hours a day now," she cried out to me. Her beloved husband has been afflicted with a brain wasting disease similar to Alzheimer's, but still different. Frontotemporal Dementia begins with the loss of being able to identify certain well-known items and gradually the loss extends to all aspects of speech and identification. The ability of each individual so afflicted to manage day-to-day activities varies. At first it was annoying to his wife that he would go to the Dollar Store and buy lots of trashy foods and be proud he was "saving money." Gradually she came to see that it was part of a more serious evolution of his ability to make good decisions. His situation has evolved over at least seven of the ten years we have been friends, and possibly it was beginning its erosion before that, subtly - excused as part of the aging process.

We were able to have some joy together when we visited in Utah last summer because his wife was glad he was able to count the number of deer that visit in a park near their home, he was still able to drive (although sometimes she felt as if she was his hostage as he drove for hours without listening to her pleas to stop) and he enjoyed being able to walk alone to the Church of Latter Day Saints temple nearby. A few months ago he tried to force his way into the Police department to demand that he be given his license back; and his wife's quick thinking diverted him from getting into more trouble with the law.

We cried together today when she said now he cannot be allowed to be off on his own for fear he will get lost "and since no one would suspect his condition, and they will most assuredly be offended by his four-year old behaviors and blunt speech, it's too risky." she worried aloud.

The life she imagined of getting older together as a couple and walking on the beach is over. She knows that in order to get him the full benefits from the VA, she has to become legally separated and commit him to the care of their services. She has to give up her life of full-time caregiving for being a part-time visitor. She has no other choices because there are none. The disease will continue its ravage of his brain and his capability to reason and react. The dangers are many. The expert medical team has cautioned her that there is no more time left and he will have to be sent to a "home."

We wept together today because even seven years ago we both had hopes for the future with no sense of it; how could we imagine this outcome back then? Now today we can see the sad reality. In the beginning when I still lived in Florida, I listened to my friend's complaints of his strange behavior and observations about his language skills; but I didn't know what was troubling him. Five years ago they went to the VA and got the diagnosis which explained many previously "peculiar" things.

Each time I have visited them I have seen the changes... at first he made excuses for not being able to find certain words, then he couldn't remember all the real estate deals we had worked on together, and then he asked me last year, "Do I know you? It feels like I do." I said, "Yes, our boys went to high school together. We used to live in Florida near each other." He smiled, but I could feel that it was confusing for him. He moved over and whispered to his wife, "What is Florida?"

A lovely gentle man who cared deeply for his wife when they married over two decades ago is now more like the child they never had, although she helped to raise several of his children from a former marriage. My friend is in wretched torment on so many levels and I grieve with her for the man I once knew, who did so much to help me, and now I cannot do more than listen.

Disease takes its toll on families and friends. Now the word "home" has lost its appeal; the sense of comfort is gone. The assurance of the vows of commitment have been stripped away by the government' s demand for payment, protection and shelter for a loved one which can only be guaranteed by a legal maneuver - and what about a home for his wife when all his benefits go for his care? Is it any wonder that we wept?

We didn't stay in Bucksnout, Tenn

We headed out of Florida under rainy skies taking 75 north until we were past Atlanta, GA. I cannot recall where it was that we stopped for gas and breakfast, in that order, but we had been discussing the merits of having "someone else deliver the goods," when we pulled up next to an international "goods deliverer," and briefly pondered how much it might cost to load up the truck and the trailer with everything in it.

After a week of packing boxes and throwing stuff away, giving stuff away, selecting items to go to flea market sale and trying to squeeze one last thing into the trailer, we were feeling like

the movie characters from the old T.V. show."Beverly Hillbillies." For those who are too young, or were deprived of television during the 60's, this was the story of the Clampetts who left Arkansas for Beverly Hills, California, after discovering oil on their land.

To add to this metaphor, Jey-hu's family reunion a couple of weeks ago revealed that he comes from Arkansas stock, including a Cherokee Indian maiden who married his great-great grandfather. So we are doing a turn-about and heading west through Arkansas in order to try and locate the family farm near Bentonville. The family lived in the Weatherly house for a few years and then moved to their own home a few miles away. We will see what we discover.

Afflicted with a cold from some infected individual on the airline we took to get to Florida, yesterday was a real downer, trying to finish things up with rain everywhere. We decided a treat was in order for dinner and stopped in Chattanooga for my second meal and Jey=hu's first at "Modern Dave's." It was definitely a good meal, but lacked something this evening.

Finally, after driving for 14 hours, passing up many more appealing hotel/motel options, including one "Traveler's Inn" in Bucksnout, Tenn. (Yes, really there is such a place!!!) we reached the outskirts of Memphis, Tennessee, making it possible

to reach the Bentonville area tomorrow in daylight. Here are some shots we took of the countryside in Georgia and Tennessee along the way. And we were rewarded with this lovely pink sunset after leaving the Nashville area to really begin trekking west. (This last shot was done by Jey-hu.)

Dedicated to Andre

A blogger with Multiple Myeloma known as Andre has had a tough struggle of late. He is best known for his love of competitive motorcycle riding, but he is also a truly gifted photographer. I first discovered his blog when I was "introduced" to the illness over a year ago because of a relative's diagnosis. His lively, and aggressive, commentary about his battle with the 'beast' gave me hope and in return, when he had downturns, I tried to offer some uplifting words or energy on his behalf.

As a motorcycle rider myself, I fully appreciated the "wind in my hair, bugs in my teeth" experience, even if I had to finally give it up for reasons other than health. So perhaps the combination of being a rider and photographer like Andre, though clearly not as proficient in either (!!), along with the MM connection, created the blog-bond between us.

During these past 15 months, I have journeyed across the U.S. from Florida to Washington and up the Western coastline. I have seen thousands of 'bikers riding, enjoying the freedom and the views of this impressive country. And in part, because of Andre's blog, I started my own. This photograph of the highway across the Navajo Nation through the Painted Desert is a route Andre took on one of his 'cycle trips and his photos are much better. You can see some of them here: http://wandering-tourist.blogspot.com

So, today I want to dedicate this blog with photographs of places of beauty I have seen and tried to capture - to Andre, if only to bring a point of light in his direction. If thoughts are like prayers and have wings, may they all fly in his direction....

Today is not the beach day I hoped for...

My plans were to head off for a beach day - imagining it to be like the one shown here, from a previous trip to Sarasota. But it is cool, cloudy and there's every likelihood there will be rain later. So, my plans will change. I'm not sure how or where I will end up today, but I'm taking my camera and will share the adventure later.

Still too cool for me...

It seems too cool for February - even in northern Florida. I guess I keep expecting spring to be arriving with the robins who are passing through on their way north... brrrr! Do they know there's been a huge snowstorm up there? There have been two 'waves' of the red-breasted beauties about a week apart. They like my yard because I don't use chemicals and I have a sort of spring dribbling down one side of the driveway where they can get fresh water. I like seeing them because it reminds me of when I was little and watched for the first robin to arrive - the harbinger of spring in New England. (The picture is of a small lake near where I walk just as the sun was setting.)

Some people who will read this next part will know it is a family story... when I was little - about 7 or so - my father knew I was watching for the robins and he would yell out at breakfast, "I see it, I see it - but it's a white robin!" I would jump up from the table hoping to see it. By the time I got back to my seat, my bacon was gone. I don't know that he took it every time, but my brother certainly had been convicted of that particular crime more than once using other ruses.

Today I spent some time with a close friend who has just been diagnosed with early dementia. She is scared about losing her memories, about the stories of her life for her grandchildren. We talked about how we ARE our histories, our family events, descriptions of relatives, sharing the similarities of those who have passed with those who are growing up. Her granddaughter is old enough to write down some of the information and it could be a bonding time for the two of them, I suggested. It's too new to think that far ahead, I realized after I'd voiced it. We joked a little, tried to ease the horror of what lies ahead, but in the end we just hugged each other. I'm scared, too, for how this will change both our lives.