A Big Birthday Plan

I've been away from posting on this blog because of a variety of life-changing events happening, and now I can write about them and share the Big Birthday Plan.

The frosty conditions of winter will melt with spring warmth.

About two weeks before Christmas I was in Florida with Wayne Ratcliff and after a series of extraordinary stressful actions, one of which included realizing that my son was incapable of being honest with me about anything, I decided to sell my house in Lake City. Wayne stepped up to the plate to help me get all my personal things out of the house and put them in storage.

It was raining. It was cold. And Wayne was recovering from a very bad cold or the flu while I was trying to recover from all the sleepless nights incurred taking care of him. And now there were two tired, grieving folks: Wayne for his late wife, Barbara and me, for the son I was going to have to evict from my home because of his failure to grow up, get work, and live honestly.

It was a recipe for disaster. And disaster struck with the decision I made to walk away from someone I loved after he demonstrated his potential for rage and impatience with me over something that should have been trivial and handled differently. (We both see that now.)

And in that action, we set in motion a series of detours on the Road of Life that almost, but not quite, ended the relationship altogether. The angels must have been watching over both of us as we each struggled to make sense of what we both had contributed to the mess.

Those detours presented the necessary contrast so that individually we could see what we DID want and as January came to a close, we found ourselves talking, texting and emailing several times a day, believing we were just learning how to be friends. But in that structure, we really did become more friendly, developed new appreciations for each other, and when Wayne returned to Sequim, we danced again at Straitwheelers.

We went for a walk on the Spit and talked some more.

The clouds were a good representation of the turmoil we
were both sorting through to get to the other side.

And then we danced on Tuesday at Rhody-O's and Wayne insisted he had to take me out on Valentine's Day. It was not so much the place we went as the effort he put into making the day a very special one that made me realize he was more than literally head and shoulders above the rest; and I told him so.

The next day we met for coffee and talked some more. By now we had accrued somewhere near 140 hours of talking, texting and emailing and we both agreed we could spend our time more effectively by joining forces and he asked me to marry him.

Wayne Ratcliff at Solmar Lake - 2018

And five days later he asked me again - just to be sure - and pointed to the calendar for the date he wanted us to memorialize our commitment... My Birthday! Sensible man; he didn't want to ever forget either event. And this is one of those birthdays that marks a significant achievement in just living, so it will be a very special day. I will be marrying someone who really is my friend first and everything else as well: walking buddy, dance partner, adventuring pal and sweetheart.

We 'graduated' from our dance class learning to waltz, salsa,
fox trot, cowboy cha-cha and two-step. Some we do well
and others require more attention.